Questions that move you forward #1

Well, new year again, and like everyone else I've been thinking about what's been and what's to come. I commented this time last year on new year's resolutions and some of the ways our goals are undermined before we even start.

But being happy and effective is not just about challenge, challenge, challenge. Sometimes focusing on goals can skew our perspective towards what's not happening rather than what is: what's not happening now, or what went wrong with our efforts. Of course goals drive us onwards, but this holiday I've been thinking about what questions we can ask that reveal values as much as targets.

So when it came to new year, I started asking my kids what they want for this year. What came out was a pretty predictable mix of wish lists for birthday presents and goals for themselves. But I've noticed that they've already been pretty engaged with working towards some of those goals. Almost as if the question, 'what do you want?', put the idea in some kind of 'want' box, rather than an 'ought to' box. Well I know which box I'd be inclined to look in first.