Silence

I attended a session yesterday at a conference on Coaching Psychology organised by the BPS Special Group in Coaching Psychology.

Paul Furey talked about listening. Now listening is meat and drink to coaches and psychologists, but there's always a new perspective. In particular Dr Furey talked about the coach's desire to solve their client's problems and how this (perversely) can detract from their effectiveness in helping through listening. While you're trying to diagnose, you're not really listening any more.

Here's the logic: if you really really listen to someone, switch off everything that tends to make you jump ahead of the conversation (what's on your mind; whether it reminds you of your own situation; whether you think you might have seen it before somewhere), really listen and show you're listening, then people are more able to find their own, relevant, appropriate solutions to which they are committed.

Now two thoughts: 1. that might equally be true of staff who you manage; 2. technical specialists might have an even greater urge to diagnose other people's problems.

You might be interested in Paul Furey's research on empathy.